Well…. it’s almost midnight. In just a few hours, I’ll be 31 years old—and I’ll also officially be relaunching Encanto by Julissa Rose. For maybe the fourth time or so ….. but we don’t gotta talk about that lol.
Honestly though, I don’t see starting over as something negative anymore. If anything, I think there’s something beautiful about being brave enough to being again. To have a dream, lose your way, find yourself again, and still decide that the dream is worth chasing.
And as I sit here on the night before my 31st birthday, I cannot help but think about how different my life feels compared to just a few months ago. Because not that long, I genuinely didn’t know if I was going to be okay.
I was overwhelmed, mentally exhausted. Constantly fighting my own thoughts and sometimes want to even fight myself because I was so over feeling like I didn’t have control over my mind. I cried to God so many days and nights begging for his help. I reached out to a few people I trusted and told them I didn’t know how much longer I could keep carrying everything the way I had been.
And let me be very clear; I was not suicidal.
But I was in so much emotional pain I had a moment where I was able to understand something I truly never understood before. Sometimes people don’t want their life to end. They are just so desperate to end the pain that they feel.
That realization changed something in me.
So, I started asking God to help me find my way back to myself and I started pouring back into myself. I started paying attention to the things that made me feel alive again. Things like prayer, journaling, making candles, singing, building, dreaming, even laughing more. Little by little I started recognizing the girl underneath all the mental chaos.
Within that process I learned is that I needed to do more then try to quiet what I was feeling—I needed to start rebuilding the life that made me want to wake up and participate again. And somehow—Encanto became a big part of that healing. Which I truly didn’t even realize until today. And know I feel like this business helped save me.
Not because business can replace God, community, or professional help—but because creating gave me something else to pour my heart onto that really was just allow me in so many different ways to pour back into myself. It gave me a place to store all of my ideas, creativity, pain, dreams, and eventually… my purpose.
Maybe that is why I keep coming back to it.
I believe God placed certain things inside of us for a reason. Th things that light us up. The things we naturally gravitate toward. The gifts we keep trying to bury but somehow always find our way back to. For me, creating has always been one of those things.
Encanto isn’t just a business I keep rebuilding. I truly feel now more than ever that it is a part of the journey God has been using to rebuild ME and guide me to my purpose. And I am certainty not saying I have it all figured out because I absolutely DO NOT.
I also am not saying I’ll never have another hard season. I know better than that. But I am proof that hard seasons can end.
I am proof that prayer can carry you through moments you didn’t think you would survive. I am proof of what can happen when you stop abandoning yourself and start pouring love back into the person God created you to be.
I thank God for his grace.
For his love.
For every prayer that was prayed over me when I didn’t have the words to pray for myself.
For the people who checked on me and loved me through the ugly parts.
And for the fact that even when I felt like I was slipping, God never let me completely fall out of his hands.
So tomorrow, when I turn 31 and relaunch, I’m not just celebrating business.
I am celebrating me. The women who made it through. The women who is still becoming. The women who decided to dream again. The women who decided her story wasn’t over.
And most importantly, the women who is finally beginning to understand that maybe the things that speak to her soul aren’t random at all. Maybe they’re pieces of the purpose God created her for.
So here’s to 31!
Here’s to beginning again, creating again, and loving myself a little louder.
Here’s to trusting God a little deeper and to whatever is waiting for me on the other side of this new beginning. Because if the last few months taught me anything, it’s this:
God can take a season that almost broke you and use it to introduce you to the women you were always meant to become.
And baby….
I think I am finally meeting her.
